Today’s Funny

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.   The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.  She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you.”

The husband texted back to her:  “I’m on the toilet.

Please advise.”

Reading Woman Falls Into Fountain At Berkshire Mall While Walking And Texting

You have to love this stuff folks. 

A Reading woman was strolling through Berkshire Mall and texting on her cell phone at the same time.  You know what they say about walking and chewing gum…so I suppose texting and walking is about the same.  When we are not paying attention to what we are doing, accidents happen.  Consequently, the woman fell into a fountain at Berkshire Mall in Reading. 

Now, she is angry that the security footage was released.  The “victim” has hired a lawyer and is contemplating a lawsuit against Berkshire Mall.  She thinks mall security should have been more concerned about her welfare.  However, she immediately got up and walked away, apparently unharmed.

The reason people know her identity is because she released her own name to the public.  Her face was digitally covered in the video footage.

OH PLEASE!  Does somebody want their 15 minutes here or what?

UPDATE – this just keeps getting better.  Read all about the “faller” in this Reading Eagle article http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=280672

More Details On Benton, PA Plane Crash

Image via Wikipedia

Here is some updated information on the plane crash story below.

The pilot of the crashed plane, James Caswell, 22 of Lake Ariel, PA, was airlifted to Lehigh Valley Hospital in Allentown.  Mr. Caswell suffers from a broken leg and bruises.  There were no other passengers on board.

The rented plane took off from the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton International Airport in Avoca and flew to Lancaster.  Caswell was returning to Avoca when the single-engine, fixed-wing Piper aircraft crashed near Benton, PA, Sunday evening around 9 p.m.  The plane was rented from FBO Air WB Leasing, Inc., located at Wilkes-Barre Scranton International Airport.

Fortunately, Caswell was able to reach help by using his cell phone after crashing.

Two Philadelphia Teens Arrested For Animal Torture

Just when you think people can’t sink to a lower level, something like this comes along!

Two Philadelphia teenagers, ages 15 and 16, evidently had nothing better to do than put a kitten in a microwave and throw it out a third-story window whilst capturing their “deed” on video using their cell phone.  Stupid is as stupid does.

Fortunately, the kitty survived the fall and is under observation before being released for adoption.  Neighbors called the police when they saw the microwave oven come flying out of the window.  Thank you concerned citizens!

The SPCA has the kitty and these upstanding young men are facing first-degree felony charges of willfully and maliciously torturing an animal.  Adults convicted of an animal-torture offense can get two years in prison!  GOOD!  Throw the damn book at them!  Or better yet a microwave!