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Sometimes you have to read something a second time to make sure you were not hallucinating!
A 37-year-old man in Dover Township, York County shoved a bag of frozen shrimp in his pants (first clue) and attempted to flee a grocery store with the ill-gotten gains (second clue). When a store security guard tried to stop this Mensa member and upstanding citizen, the guard was attacked (third clue) by the customer. The thief customer was followed into the parking lot and subdued by the battered security guard and a bystander.
Our award winner is being held on $10,000 bail over a bag of frozen crustaceans and some fisticuffs. Somebody should have made a trip to Long John Silvers!
I hope the bag of shrimp was not returned to the freezer case!!!!
Roy's Rants - For Your Information 
My vote for dumbass of the day(actually everyday)would be Al Gore.It’s May 6th,40 degrees in Pittsburgh,Pa and I STILL have to have my heat on!Seen on the local news last night we are 20 degrees below normal temp wise.If I hear one more person saying we have “global warming'(oh,my sorry “climate change”)I will have to teach them about global COOLING!
My second place vote would go to lord Obama!